FAQ

About Illuminaughty

• How do I get an invite to come to a party?
• Is there a membership fee?
• Are most of your members pretty fit/athletic? We are in good shape, but we’re not models.
• Are newbies accepted?
• My wife and I are interested but we are 51 and 46. We want to start in a safe environment, are we too old?
• I like to keep my life private, how private are your events?

Applying for Membership

• What are you looking for on the application?
• Why do I have to submit photos?
• I applied but didn’t hear back, was I accepted?

Membership, Partner, and Account Questions

• We bought a couple ticket and now my partner can’t come. Can I attend by myself?
• I have  a couple account with my partner, can I purchase a single ticket to attend solo?
• We’re a throuple, how do we apply and buy tickets?
• I’m a member, can I bring a guest to a mixer or party?
• I have multiple partners, how do I attend with different people?
• I have a membership as a couple, but my partner and I separated. What should I do?

Preparing for an Event

• What is the dress code at your events?
• What do people wear to a party? Should I bring a change of clothes?
• What else should I bring?
• I have to work until 10:00pm, can I arrive late?
• When will I get the address for the party?

At the Event

• I see member photos on your Instagram, are photos allowed at the parties?
• How many people will be at the party? Is it crowded?
• Are the people in your photos real members? Do you hire models or performers to be at the events?
• Do you have security at your events?
• Are there lockers or coat check?
• Is there a dungeon or kink space at the party?
• I’m nervous, do I have to have sex?
• How many men compared to women will be there?
• I’m a single man attending my first mixer/party…any tips?

Miscellaneous

• Do you ever host public meetups or gatherings?
• When will the next party be announced?
• What other cities are you coming to? Will you have an event near me anytime soon?
• Are these parties legal?

About Illuminaughty

How do I get an invite to come to a party?

Everyone must apply for membership and be approved before they can attend an event. There’s no cost for membership, but you must be approved before you can login and get tickets. Click below to apply for membership — we’d love to learn more about you! If your application is approved, you’ll be added to our invite list to all upcoming events in your area.

Is there a membership fee?

No, there’s no cost for membership, but you must apply and be approved to become a member before you can attend events.

Are most of your members pretty fit/athletic? We are in good shape, but we’re not models.

We pride ourselves on the caliber of our members, and while not everyone has an 8-pack, most of our members do have an attention to health and wellness in their lifestyle. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, but what really stands out in the Illuminaughty community is kindness, self-awareness, and clear, confident communication. Come as your best self. Everyone is welcome to apply!

Are newbies accepted?

We love our newbies! In fact, about 1/3 of our guests at any given event are first-timers. We hear time after time how Illuminaughty has the most friendly and welcoming crowd around and we pride ourselves in maintaining that vibe. Whether you’re solo or partnered, you’ll be in good company—and our team and long-standing members are great at making introductions so you’ll soon feel right at home.

My wife and I are interested but we are 51 and 46, are we too old? We want to start in a safe environment.

We love hearing that and we focus on creating a safe, welcoming space for newcomers. While most of our members are between the ages of 21 and 45, we don’t have a hard cutoff. We’ve approved plenty of amazing members in their upper 40s (and even some early 50s!) who take great care of themselves and fit right in with the vibe and values of our community. If that sounds like you, we’d love to see your application!

I like to keep my life private, how private are your events?

Privacy and discretion are part of the foundation we build every event on. Safety is our top priority—and that includes protecting your identity, your story, and your boundaries. No unsolicited photos, no pressure, just your permission every step of the way.

Applying for Membership

What are you looking for on the application?

We want to learn about who you are and feel like you’re a good fit with our community. So, tell us about yourself and what makes you special and interesting. Why will you be a positive addition to our event? Be thoughtful and thorough.

Why do I have to submit photos?

Photos help tell the story of who you are and what your vibe is like. They help us determine how you put your best self forward, and whether or not you’ll be a good fit with our members. They are also a safety measure to ensure we can identify everyone at our events should someone turn out to not be a good fit.

I applied but didn’t hear back, was I accepted?

When you apply, you are immediately sent a confirmation email to let you know that we received your application. This also confirms that you entered your email address correctly and you are receiving our emails. If you don’t see a confirmation email, check your spam folder. If you still don’t see it, you may have incorrectly typed your email address and need to submit your application again with the correct information. We are unable to edit the email if you enter it incorrectly. Just submit the application again.

We try to review all applications within 3 days, but single man applications may take longer. We do not send rejection letters and do not answer emails about why someone was rejected. If you do not hear back from us, we apologize but your application was not approved. You are welcome to reapply with updated pictures and more thorough answers with a different email address.

One piece of advice — ChatGPT/AI answers and dick pics are generally an immediate rejection. We’re looking for self-aware, thoughtful members who pay attention and are willing to put in some effort.

Preparing for an Event

What is the dress code at your events?

The dress code for each event is listed on the event page and there is a pinterest board to give you inspiration for your outfit. Some events are simple, sexy and classy, and others are specified with fun and exciting themes. Our community is vibrant and enthusiastic, and it’s one of the things we love the most about them. If you attend a themed event, you better be dressed to the theme because EVERYONE else will be. Casual events aren’t our thing, our community is filled with intention and we expect our members to put forth some effort and show up as their best and authentic self. Just make sure you are PG for the walk to/from the venue.

For men, the default for classy events is a suit or cocktail attire. For mixers, suits and dresses are not necessary, but we expect some effort to put your best foot forward.

What do people wear to a party? Should I bring a change of clothes?

We expect our members to dress to the theme of the event, and they don’t disappoint. Seeing all of the amazing, thoughtful outfits when you walk through the door is a striking scene that you won’t forget. Our sexy parties all start with a cocktail mixer during the arrival time. It’s common for guests to dress more modestly during this time while everyone is having a drink, connecting, and getting comfortable. Then we bring everyone together for a rules and consent talk, and afterwards the play begins. It’s common for many of the ladies in particular, to change into a second outfit or lingerie for the remainder of the event. You are welcome to bring a bag with some extra clothes or toys for yourself or to share.

What else should I bring?

Our parties are BYOB, so bring any alcohol you want for yourself or to share. We provide drinking water, sparkling water, mixers, snacks, cups, and champagne flutes for our guests.

It’s nice to bring a cozy change of clothes for the end of the night.

We provide towels, water-based wipes, condoms, water-based lube, and massage oil. You are welcome to bring anything that you know is something special that you like such as your own toys, special condoms or lube, games, etc.

Please do not bring valuables.

I have to work until 10:00pm, can I arrive late?

The short answer is no, you must arrive on time. Our events are curated in a specific way to provide a special experience, and part of that comes from everyone being together at the start.

Everyone must arrive during the arrival window, then we close the doors and give a brief orientation to bring everyone together and discuss rules and consent. It’s critical that everyone be present for this to build the trusted, safe container that Illuminaughty is known for and ensure everyone is on the same page before any play happens. If you arrive late without clearing it with us ahead of time, security will not let you in.

When will I get the address for the party?

To protect the privacy of our guests and our venues, the venue location is only provided to ticket holders on the day of the event (or a little earlier for destination events that involve travel). You will receive an email with a link where you can login to view the address. This will ensure that only current ticket holders can view the address. If you don’t get the email, you can also get to this link by logging in to your account and going to the My Tickets tab, then clicking on the Event/Address Information button: